I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
