You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
