drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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