My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
