Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My vagina just recognized that song.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
