you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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