i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
