so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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