let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
