she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
