Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
