dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
