Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
