He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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