I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
