i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
