Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
