Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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