There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
