I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
