Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
smell my finger.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
