when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
