Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
