trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
