I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
But break dance skills will only take you so far
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
