East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
