similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
