I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
