I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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