I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
