You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
