we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She announced her abortion via fbk
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
