my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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