chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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