Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
