I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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