I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
