I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
