Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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