she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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