I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I deserve this hangover.
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