mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
