so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When did angry sex become our thing?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
