you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
