so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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