you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
