While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
