i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just gargled with NyQuil
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
