Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
