im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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