after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
