Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
