so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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