did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
